Let’s See How Far We’ve Come

In my last post I wrote about not looking back and moving ahead. Don’t live in the past, and press forward. Because we are forgiven and set free in Jesus Christ! I find it kind of funny that in this post I want to talk about looking at how far you’ve come. In order to do that, you probably need to think of the valleys, the mountains, the sins, the guilt, and the hurt that you’ve been through in the past. But don’t dwell on it.

 

[ RANDOM SIDE NOTE THAT WILL HOPEFULLY HAVE A POINT IF YOU CONTINUE READING: ]

The last few nights I’ve been reading in Oswald Chambers book “My Utmost For His Highest.” No surprise there (:

I have an issue with getting so caught up in how I’ve messed up today, and in the weeks past. And it hit me yesterday that I’ve probably missed so many opportunities, and have maybe hurt my testimony just by being so upset with myself and dwelling on that. But God wants us to move on; He wants us to go to the next thing! Chambers talks about when the disciples fell asleep in the Garden of Gethsemane instead of watching with Jesus in Matthew 26. When they awoke they realized what they did, and were in despair. But we’re not supposed to live in despair! Jesus said, “Rise, let us be going.” (Matthew 26:46).

NEVER LET THE SENSE OF PAST FAILURE DEFEAT YOUR NEXT STEP.

 

 

It seems like every day I have a moment when I think about my life and how things have completely changed, and my life is constantly transforming.

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I think about my heart and how it used to be colder and more closed years ago. I think about how God has so graciously given me the strength and humility to open it up. The comfort when I was scared to and the joy when I realized HE KNOWS WHAT HE’S DOING.

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I think of all the people I’ve come across the past couple years. The friendships that have formed and the friendships that just dwindled away. The people that have helped me grow, the ones that have hurt me, the ones that have helped push me to where I am.

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I think about how my compassion has grown. I’ve had a heart for missions for a few years now. I never ever thought I’d be this passionate about it though. And my love for it and compassion for the people continues to grow rapidly.

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I think about all the answered prayers. Sometimes I can get so caught up in life and not think about what I prayed the week before or months before and notice that God surely did answer it. But when I do realize this, it’s something incredible.

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I think about how I used to be the most quiet and shy person you’d ever come in contact with. Now I will talk your ear off if you sit me down. I love all people, and making new friends is probably one of my favorite things. Even though I’m still not the crazy, outgoing, and loud kind; God has definitely given me boldness throughout it all.

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I think I’m still in shock that I actually have a life now. (cough cough. That’s what homeschooling does to you. Cough cough) Now I’m always surrounded by people. It’s hard to be alone, even when I feel like I want to be. I have more freedom, I’m being tested daily.

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I think about all those times when I was grieving, depressed, or upset. When I thought there was no possible way I would ever be happy again (The typical dramatic teenage girl thought). And then I think about how God brought me out of it all. Has put me higher on the mountain, and now I look back and think, “And I thought there was no way out! Oh me of little faith.”

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I think about how today I still have A LOT to learn, but looking back, even just a year ago, I have been taught and have learned so so much. In that short amount of time! I’m just beginning to know my Father, and His plans for me.

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I’m really not saying all of this to pat myself on the back. I’m not saying I’m perfectly compassionate, that I’m perfectly loving. I still have a long ways to go. But I’ll never reach perfection, yet I should still strive for it and grow in it. I’m sharing all these thoughts because I’ve been able to look back and see everything that God has given me. And it truly is comforting seeing all the things that you asked for, and in that time you felt like you weren’t being given them. But looking back today you notice you were given that, and so much more. GOD IS SO GOOD. SO FAITHFUL. SO LOVING.

• He’s given me more boldness
• He’s given me joy in the trials.
• He’s given me peace in the storms.
• He’s given me comfort when grieving.
• He’s given me passion for the Great Commission
• He’s given me words to speak.
• He’s given me answers to my prayers.
• He’s given me Christ-like brothers and sisters I can trust.
• He’s given me advice through my parents, family, etc.
• He’s given me more compassion for His people.
• He’s given me more patience in so many different areas.
• He’s given me strength, more than I thought I was capable of.
• He’s given me good discernment.
• He’s given me blessing upon blessing.

And He has also given me His forgiveness for when I don’t accept the things He’s offering, when I ignore His guidance and calling, when I do mess up. But as I mentioned before, He calls us to get back up and move on! Go on to the next incredible adventure with Christ. Like Sir Oswald said…

NEVER LET THE SENSE OF PAST FAILURE DEFEAT YOUR NEXT STEP.

 

Thank you so much for reading! I hope that these words from my heart have blessed someone. I hope that it has helped you see how far you have come. I hope that your eyes have been more opened to the blessings that God has given you.

You might feel like you’ve come far, but as of right now you feel like you’ve hit rock bottom again. In those times in my life I need to always remember that God has gotten me through before, He WILL get me through again. IF I place my trust in Him, and let Him take the reign in my life.

 

Prayers and With All My Love,

 

Lauren Ashleigh Benjamin

Free and Forgiven Forever

Do you ever feel like there’s a theme to what God is showing you throughout a certain amount of time? For instance, the past 2 or so weeks I feel as if messages about God’s forgiveness have surrounded me. Whether it’s from a preacher, a devotional, a chapel speaker, the Bible, or just a friend; I feel like the word FORGIVENESS has been said more than usual. When really, I think it’s just God opening my ears to that subject more because that’s what He believes I need to be reminded of in this time of my life. My sins are forgiven. They should no longer be burdens on me. All my sin died on the cross with Jesus Christ. HE saved me from my sin.

But I don’t feel like hearing all these words on forgiveness is just for MY ears. If I keep what I learn to myself, that’s me being selfish. I feel led to share. Because I feel like talking about where God has been in my life can hopefully reveal to you where He is working in yours, or at least point you in the right direction.

Last week here at Cedarville we had a praise chapel. It was an hour filled with some crazy fun gospel music from OneVoice Choir. (Which I am so blessed to be a part of.) In the past I’ve received feedback from other students about OneVoice. Not everyone fully enjoys the style and the songs, not that they hate it, they just don’t worship in that way. Sometimes when worship bands or choirs get up and start singing a song you don’t know, you can tune it out very easily. And when they start singing songs that we all know, a whole different worship experience starts occurring.  I think I’ve learned that those are the songs I need to listen to the most, the ones I don’t know. Instead of so easily tuning them out and waiting for a song I know, I’ve been trying to listen and absorb the words and the message of the song. And I’ve actually gotten much from just doing that. Last week in praise chapel, being on stage is a whole new worship experience, and also just being surrounded by people on risers who are unashamed to show the fire in their hearts for the Lord. It becomes something different. We all get in our own worship bubble, and I feel as if it’s just me and God. There was an occasional moment when I’d glance out in the audience and see if I saw any response to the songs. Since the majority of the crowd probably didn’t know one word to any of the songs we sang, I was worried for some reason. It wasn’t till the last two songs that I saw people responding.  We sang a song by the name of “Changed”

Man, does it make my heart happy. And for the few seconds I looked out and saw hands raising. That also made my heart happy. The words were powerful, and the feeling in my heart continued to become more and more overwhelmingly huge. The feeling of being made new and being forgiven!

 

“I’ve been changed, healed, freed, delivered. I’ve found joy, peace, grace, and favor

All my shame, guilt, sins, they’ve been forgiven. No more chains, fear, my past is over

Right now is the moment, today is the day. I’ve been changed. I’VE BEEN CHANGED.
I have waited for this moment to come and I won’t let it pass me by.

I won’t go back, can’t go back, to the way it used to be. Before Your presence came and changed me.”

 

 “The Lord is merciful and gracious,

    slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.

He will not always chide,

    nor will he keep his anger forever.

He does not deal with us according to our sins,

    nor repay us according to our iniquities.

For as high as the heavens are above the earth,

    so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him;

 as far as the east is from the west,

    so far does he remove our transgressions from us.”

–PSALM 103:8-12

 

“Come now, let us reason together, says the Lord:

though your sins are like scarlet,

    they shall be as white as snow;

though they are red like crimson,

    they shall become like wool.”

–ISAIAH 1:18

 

“He has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of his beloved Son, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.”

–COLOSSIANS 1:13-14

 

 Just another much-needed reminder that I am FREE, and FORGIVEN FOREVER

With All My Love,

 

Lauren Ashleigh Benjamin